|
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Love
Is Freeware
* Images courtesy
of Dennis Cox -
-
©
Copyright
1997-2001-
DJArt
See more of his work at
www.djart.com *
| Customer
Service Representative |
Customer |
| |
|
Ring - Ring - Ring
| Customer
Service? |
 |
 |
Yes,
Ma'am, how can I help you today?
|
| Well,
after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide
me through the process? |
|
|
Yes,
I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
|
| Well,
I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do
I do first? |
|
|
The first
step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART, ma'am? |
| Yes
I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it
okay to install while they are running? |
|
|
What
programs are running, ma'am? |
| Let's
see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW ESTEEM.EXE, AFRAID.EXE, and perhaps RESENTMENT.COM
running right now. |
|
|
No problem.
LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system.
It may remain in your permanent memory, but will no longer disrupt other
programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module
of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn
off AFRAID.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being
properly installed. Can you turn those off, ma'am? |
| I don't
know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how? |
|
|
My pleasure.
Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times
as necessary until AFRAID.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely
erased. |
| Okay,
done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal? |
|
|
Yes.
You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life
of your HEART. Do you see that message? |
| Yes
I do. Is it completely installed? |
|
|
Yes,
but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting
to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades. |
| OOPS!
I have an error message already. What should I do? |
|
|
What
does the message say? |
| It says
"ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean? |
|
|
Don't
worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is
set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART.
It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical
terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE"
others. |
| So
what should I do? |
|
|
Can you
pull down the directory called
"SELF-ACCEPTANCE"? |
| Customer:
Yes, I have it. |
|
|
Excellent.
You're getting good at this. |
| Thank
you. |
|
|
You're
welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MY HEART"
directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC.
The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any
faulty programming. Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from
all directories, and then empty our recycle bin afterwards to make sure
it is completely gone and never comes back. |
| Got it.
Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my
monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are
copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal? |
|
|
Sometimes.
For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded
at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able
to handle it from here. One more thing before I go. |
| Yes?
|
|
|
LOVE
is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you
meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return
some similarly cool modules back to you. |
Midi: Knocking on Heaven's Door
Sequenced by: Gene Chen
Gene.Chen@launchpad.unc.edu