Mid-life is when the growth of
the hair on our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time to care for our
newly acquired mustache.

Mid-life has hit when you stand naked in front
of the mirror and can see your rear end
without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old,
you have to pay someone to look at you naked.

You know you are getting old when you
go for a mammogram and know
it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless in a film.

Mid-life can bring out your angry, bitter side.
You look at your latte-swilling, beeper-wearing,
know-it-all teenager and think,
"For this I have stretch marks?"

The good news about mid-life is the glass is still
half-full. Of course, the bad news is that
it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.