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PARENTHOOD
If
it was going to be easy, it never would have started with
something called labor!
Shouting to make your children obey is like using the
horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.
To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have
to be in their lives today.
The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy
them while they are still on your side.
Avenge yourself --- live long enough to be a problem
to your children.
The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving
atmosphere .... and hide the keys to the car.
The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm
hearts, not by hot heads.
Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and
board newlyweds.
The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all
the children are finally in bed.
Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need
baby-sitters and still too young to borrow the family
car.
Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle
name is so he can tell when he's REALLY in trouble.
Grandparents are similar to a piece of string -- handy
to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of
their grandchildren.
A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart.
God gave you two ears and one mouth ... so you should
listen twice as much as you talk.
There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself,
hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.
Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their
parents.
You know the only people in this world who are always
sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've
never had any.
Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like
trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I
was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager
thinks I am at this moment.
There are only two things a child will share willingly:
communicable diseases and his mother's age.
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in
touch.
Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions
because they know all the answers.
An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't
have small children.
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school,
but they can in prison?
How do you cope when the apple of your eye becomes a bone
in your throat?
No wonder kids are confused today. Half the adults tell them to find themselves; the other
half tell them to get lost.
The people hardest to convince that it's time for retirement
are children at bedtime.
Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off
any lights. |
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