THE SENILITY PRAYER:

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm 'older (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered:

ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

TWO - I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

THREE -Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

FOUR -All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

FIVE -If all is not lost, where is it?

SIX -It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

SEVEN -Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

EIGHT - I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...

NINE -It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

TEN -Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

ELEVEN -If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

TWELVE -When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

THIRTEEN -It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.

FOURTEEN -The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

FIFTEEN -These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

SIXTEEN -UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED THIS TO YOU OR NOT AND DOUBT IF YOU CAN EITHER.