Hilarious Quotes XII
Part 1 of 2

If A Space Alien Were to Visit This Planet,
Would He Find Any Intelligent Life Here?
Author unknown.

EVIDENCE OF INTELLIGENCE AT THE PHONE COMPANY...
This week, ALL our phones went dead, and I had to contact the phone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 AM and 7:00 PM. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, he asked, "would you like us to call before we come?" He also requested that we report future outages by e-mail. (Does your e-mail work without a telephone line?!)

EVIDENCE OF INTELLIGENCE AT THE RESTAURANT...
My daughter went to a local fast food restaurant and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

EVIDENCE OF INTELLIGENCE AT THE DEPARTMENT STORE...
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

EVIDENCE OF INTELLIGENCE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD...
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Too many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.