Hilarious Quotes VIII
Ah, English! - Part 1

English can be a difficult language to learn, and even harder when people in other countries try to make signs for their English-speaking visitors to read. For example:

1. The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
(In a Bucharest hotel lobby) .

2. When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacle your passage, then tootle him with vigor. If honorable horse obstacle your path, pull over until he he pass away.
(From a Japanese car-rental firm's informative brochure)

3. To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. (Inside an elevator in Yugoslavia)

4. Please leave your values at the front desk.
(At a Paris hotel)

5. Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
(At an Austrian ski lodge)

6. Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
(On the menu of a Swiss restaurant)

7. Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
(On the menu of a Polish hotel's restaurant)

8. For your convenience we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
(At a Hong Kong supermarket)

9. A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
(In an East African newspaper)

10. Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.
(Advertisement of a Hong Kong dentist)